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I would talk to my grandma and ask her why she favored me before my other sisters. I would ask her how she raised her own children, because it baffles me how such a strong headed woman managed to raise a group of adults who now exist in poverty. My aunts and uncles feud, they are homeless and jobless and without any plans for the future. It confuses me how I grew up viewing her as a warm-hearted saint, then realize later in life that something must have been amiss for her children to be in the positions they are in now.

What do all adults miss about being a kid: playing. I miss pretend; using a stick as a sword and beating a bush while you vocalize some elaborate dialogue between you, the fighter, and the bush, an evil lord. I want to go back to the days when my sisters and our friends would roam through our house at night as tigers, moving between dens and fighting in defense of our right to live. We would crouch on all fours and growl, each in our own designed sound. I miss a time when I did not need to be concerned with money, or dates, or going to bed at a decent hour; when life was just about enjoying one’s imagination.

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I wanted to graduate college, which I did with two degrees and honors actually, so that goal was fulfilled. I also wanted to become a mom at some point in my life, which happened sooner than expected, but is just as fulfilling already as I had hoped. My next goals involve financial security. I hope to establish my own income through either book sales of a memoir/fiction I am working on, and/or from selling my artwork on my own website. I want to generate enough income on my own to help pull my family out of poverty. I work on these goals as often as I can with these hopes in mind.

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I do not believe in regrets generally. I learn from my mistakes and move on. The negative feelings may linger after those events that changed my life, but I also believe those are important in order to prevent me from repeating those mistakes and regressing to who I was. I feel the worst about having cheated on my partner, but I accept that I was in a confusing time in our relationship and sought answers elsewhere, which I did ultimately find. Perhaps my methods were unethical, but that was what made sense at the time. I trust that it all happened for a reason: to get me to where I am now.

What a terrible thought that I might die so early on in my son’s life. I would set in motion my Will so he would for sure continue to live with his father and that my possessions would pass on to him. I have already been writing my thoughts, concerns, beliefs, and memories for him to read in the future, so luckily he will know all that if I were to die tomorrow. But I would mostly regret not being able to see him grow up. Therefore, I would talk to my partner about securing my plans for how I want him raised. We have already talked many times about our ideas on parenthood, but I would more firmly establish them. I suppose I haven’t because I do not expect to die suddenly.

If I could change something about my home I would install carpeting in the living room. Now that I have a baby, I am concerned for when he starts to crawl. Our hard-wood floors and linoleum everywhere are not comfortable on a child’s knees. He will likely fall a lot too when he learns to walk and the thought of him hitting such hard floors scares me. I enjoy the easy clean up of hard-wood, but I still worry about him injuring himself and excessively bruising his knees. I at least would want carpeting in his nursery, where we can focus his physical development with softer floors.

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When I am bored, I generally take a walk with my dog and baby to the park. I feel it is a great means of getting exercise to boost my mood, give me a break from the monotony of staying at home, and wears out my dog so he is less likely to bother me when my partner comes home from work. If the weather does not permit a walk outside, I will do chores. This allows me to be occupied with a particular task, which again releases that pent up energy through movement and focus, as walking usually would. But this also helps me feel productive and useful.

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Although I have two degrees, I am a stay-at-home mom. I recently gave birth to my first baby and chose to raise him at home instead of sending him to child care each day so I can work. While I do not question my choice to be there for him throughout all his firsts, I do become stir-crazy without the challenge work offers. So, I pursue other projects that allow me to work from home. Currently I am trying to start a website to sell my artwork centered on a particular theme. If this project goes well I won’t have to worry about returning to work for longer than I plan.

I have slept on the floor before, on hard ground, on thin carpet, in chairs, in my car, and on rock. The mattress was the simplest invention meant to improve the sleep quality of humanity so we might be rested enough to build other inventions. Without a comfortable mattress, the spine can become misaligned; you can wake up with stiff shoulders or hips, especially for curvy women. Without a mattress, it is more difficult to retain heat. When sleeping on the ground, you notice one other main thing besides how hard it is, you notice how cold it is. The more bedding you set under you, the more insulation for warmth. A mattress solves both these problems.